Friends and professionals

The most absurd thing I have ever felt is “I don’t want to work with this friend of mine, it could jeopardize our friendship and I have a conflict of interests”.

If this happens it indicates three things. The first is that you have unprofessional friends, that is to say, that you do not trust their professionalism. The second is that you have unreasonable friends, that is, you do not trust their personal ethics. And the third one, which for me is a conclusion of the two previous ones, is that in general you say friend to any acquaintance with whom you like to entertain yourself, and not with whom you have a deep and relevant relationship.

Precisely working with a friend is a precious treasure. In general you have few friends and most likely you will not have the opportunity to work together. Friendship is cultivated with time and deep knowledge of the other person. Therefore, if you end up having the opportunity to meet friends and work there, it is a great opportunity and experience for the relationship and for you.

When you work with a friend, you have the opportunity to get to know that person better, and you have the opportunity to improve and learn. It is not necessarily a simple path. In fact, the process of knowing who we are and evolving is not always easy. We have to accept things we have done that we have not liked or that have not taken us where we wanted. Therefore, working with a friend, with someone we trust, who we consider a good person and, therefore, a good professional, is the best option to start this process of self-knowledge and mutual learning. Ja et dic that in general you will not have the opportunity. Maybe it happens to you in the end, that you end up making good friends at work. But if you have the good fortune to work with someone you already consider a close friend, to deny you this opportunity is not very intelligent.

I know that someone will explain to me that they have worked with friends and have ended up leaving. He will tell me that he does not want to jeopardize his friendships by working there, that experience shows that it ends badly. What it indicates to me is that I didn’t know the person we call a friend very well, and the opportunity to work there has made me know him better. You have been able to see and verify if he was a good friend or not. Si era una persona digna de pertànyer al teu pinyol. Maybe the only thing that happens is that you have discovered that you have not. And you have to accept and go through this pain because of the loss that you can’t avoid.

The person is a whole. There is no division between person and professional. When we create this division we tend to start a process of personal disintegration and we suffer the consequences. This fact of separating the professional fact and the personal fact makes us accept real bad professional pairs as friends, saying that with their intimate environment they are a piece of cake. You wait for a conflict of interests to occur and you will see how your friend “tros de pa” will end up being an unbeatable being, but you haven’t given him the chance to show himself yet. You are afraid of its true nature yourself, because it is not easy to accept having had someone like that in your life.

If someone is ungenerous at work, he will end up being ungenerous at home and with his family. You may be able to accept having an ungenerous friend, but don’t be fooled into saying that he only does it in the professional sphere. And you can also accept to have unreasonable friends if you so decide, but don’t fool yourself by saying that they have been unreasonable because of the pressure at work. And in fact, if you consider them friends, don’t refuse to work with them. If you trust people like this, accept it. Maybe in the process of working together all two of us will be better. Maybe they end up feeling more reasonable, more generous, or you end up discovering that they are better people than you thought.

And one of the few cases where I understand that it can be difficult for a friend to work with you, is the case of a doctor. You can refer to them very professionally, but they want you to be cured and it may be difficult for them to accept what is happening to you. However, I also say that if he is a good friend and loves you, he himself will suggest a second medical opinion. You will be aware of your own journeys. Therefore, you will go there professionally and follow their advice, and the second medical opinion can be one of them. You are lucky to have a good friend and a good professional to turn to for such an important issue as your health. A professional who will think in every moment what is the best for you. Therefore, once I think, even in this case the best thing for you is to work with a friend.

Així doncs, ras i curt. If you can’t work with your friends, change friends.

 

Natàlia Cugueró – elmon.cat